Artist Statement
Heavy Air explores the timeline of my depression, examining the weight of low feelings, the frustration of losing myself, and the overwhelming emotions that follow. Over the past two years, since my mum passed away, my life has been turned upside down. Navigating the depths of depression has been incredibly difficult, but exploring this through my art has become a vital part of my recovery. Creating this series has been an emotional, yet deeply exciting way for me to process what I have gone through.
With this body of work, I deliberately wanted to play with color. I didn't want the series to be purely dark and gloomy. While there is an essence of that darkness in some of the images, I used bright colors to express that even within depression, you can still seek the light. There is still color in life, and I wanted to portray that duality throughout these sets of images.
Working on these pieces has been a profound journey. I hope people can connect with them and find meaning in my perspective on what it was like navigating these terrible years of feeling hopeless and lost.
The Void This is the ultimate manifestation of depression—the hollow birthplace of these overwhelming feelings of depression.
Chaos This represents the inescapable spiral of depression a place where everything feels entirely out of control. There have been times when I was screaming on the inside, feeling a desperate need to separate myself from my loved ones. I feared that if I showed them the pain I was going through, my brokenness would be entirely transparent, leaving me feeling trapped within my own mind.
Empty This piece captures the state of feeling nothing at all: absolute numbness. This is the quiet paralysis of lying in bed exploring the corners of the room, or watching TV without really paying attention. It is the profound loneliness of being paralyzed by your own thoughts, entirely disconnected from your body.
Love Reflecting a lost hope in trying to be loved, this image is entangled with dark, heavy thoughts. It isn't about physical harm, but rather the messy reality of fighting an internal war where your thoughts are scattered everywhere. The string represents my fate and my desire the tangled struggle of trying to find my way back to the state of mind where I used to be.
The Three Stages of Decay (Fresh, Bloat, Active Decay) This triptych is built around a self-portrait taken during a time when I was deeply depressed. The three images represent the stages of losing myself and others. It captures the struggle of battling my dark thoughts, failing to even recognize my own reflection, and the desperate yearning to escape from my own flaws and the weight of the depression.
The Three Stages of Decay
Please remember: if you are navigating the depths of depression, you do not have to face it by yourself. Reach out to a loved one or seek professional medical support. Always keep in mind that you are not alone.
